this is kind of old...maybe like 2 weeks but, i couldn't blog about it then, cause i would've done it in a more irrational vengeful manner. i wanted to think about it and cool off. so i can catch my errors. plus i'm like lazy to the umpteenth degree.

so i've known this guy for about 6 years now. feelings (mine) have been the same since day 1--i like him. and i really stupidly believed it was mutual.

now back then i will admit i was not a TEN (nor am I today) i was bout in the 5 range. but i mean hey. i'm not fugly.

for stupid, young reasons we didn't work out and that was that.

i blossomed about a year and a half later and he came back, but i had a bf.

while i was with my bf, he was the only guy i would have broken up with my [then] current boyfriend for. (i don't believe in cheating).

but he was on same games.

he says he cares about me. he says he misses me. but i see no BUJU from this guy (action).
wholetime i hear about him messing with OTHER girls, but i'm just thinking

i'm a good girl. i got nothing to worry about, when he's ready to settle, he will...with me.

so like a DUMB good girl, i waited. since then.

waited...waited...waited...waited...and waited.

and now there' nothing left to say. "irritated, frustrated and hurt...this is so confusing boy i thought this was the right thing for sure."

he lives in Wa***** and I'm here in the Metropolitan Area and we're both reluctant on making the drive, but I made the drive ONE time and I heavily regret it cause since then he basically carried me, no calls, no texts, no nothing.

I hit him up and ask if everything's cool and he says yes, he misses me, blase blah, he's busy, so I'm understanding. And I'm cool.

Not too soon afterwards I see him...at WHEATON mall with a girl.

SOOOOOOOO. You can NOT drive down here to see me and hang out but to the mall with another GIRL this is a POSSIBLE POSSIBILITY?!?

I'm STUPID, SHAMED, EMBARASSED, REGRETFUL AND HURT.

Never ever ever ever ever EVER again.

The End.